Two Aussie cousins, both glued to American politics for reasons their partners stopped trying to understand around 2017. Steve (Trump Lover) reckons the orange wrecking ball is doing exactly the job he was hired for. Mike (Trump Hater) thinks Trump is a senile, twice-impeached, 34-times convicted, draft-dodging conman who's actively kneecapping democracy and selling out the West to Putin for compliments. So we did the only sensible thing two grown men with strong opinions can do. We picked 11 measurable promises and locked the framework in November 2024, after the election was called but well before Cheeto Mussolini could touch a thing. Baselines, targets, sources, all agreed before he put his tiny hand on the bible. He can't claim the goalposts moved. Year one is up. Here's how the bloke's tracking.
Every promise the senile carnival barker bellowed at his rallies, grouped from Steve's preferred MAGA reading list and Mike's preferred 'this guy needs a memory test and a cell' reading list. Counted, sourced, no spin.
He genuinely smashed the border crossings number and the China trade deficit. We'll concede those through gritted teeth. The methods (mass deportations, snatching kids out of school, tariffs that bumped your weekly shop 4%) were the same brutal, lawless shit you'd expect from a strongman cosplaying as a president, but the numbers moved. Everything else is some combination of 'the trend was already going that way before he showed up,' 'quietly abandoned when it got hard,' or 'flagrantly fucking broken.' Ukraine in 24 hours? Gas under two bucks? A trillion in DOGE savings? 500 miles of new wall? Drug prices down 20%? Fuck off, mate. The man lies like he breathes, and we've got the receipts below.
Each card is one specific promise with a number attached. The baseline is what we locked in November 2024, after he won but before the orange goblin could touch a thing. No moving the goalposts. Click a card for the full breakdown, the sources, and the editorial that'll make Steve's eye twitch.
He made hundreds of promises. We've picked the loudest. Broken on the left because, surprise, he lies a lot. Kept on the right because, look, even a broken clock and all that. One or two of the kept ones are genuinely bad for the world and humanity, but we said we'd be objective. Credit where it's earned, even to a man who tried to overthrow a democracy.
The moments that defined Trump 2.0 so far. Red dots are the ones Mike grits his teeth at. Green dots are the ones Steve emails Mike about at 11pm with 'told ya, mate' in the subject line. Yellow's the bullshit in between, of which there is a fucking ocean.
"I will end the war in Ukraine on Day 1. I will have it solved in 24 hours." Donald Trump, said dozens of times in 2023 and 2024 with all the confidence of a man who has never read a briefing. Currently 489 days late. The truce they tried in May 2026 lasted less than half a day because Putin sneezed.
"Promises made, promises kept." Donald Trump, signature line he says in between forgetting his own son's name. Fair enough on the Jan 6 pardons (he freed the rioters who tried to hang Mike Pence), the Paris exit, and the 'no tax on tips' bill. Less fair on the other ninety percent.
The yearly scorecard on the other tab is locked in. This panel isn't. This is the rolling 'where the fuck are we now' update. Tariff debacles, court losses, foreign policy own goals, fresh inflation prints, whatever batshit thing he Truth Social'd at 3am. Fresh items go to the top.
Print these out, fold them up, slip them into your wallet next to your Medicare card. When the uncle with the red hat starts going at the snags about how Trump fixed inflation and saved America, pull them out. Every number links to its source. Win the argument with paperwork, then go back to your beer.
The framework was locked in November 2024, after the election was called but before inauguration. The baselines, the targets, the scoring legend, all agreed before he was sworn in. Mike writes the copy and calls Trump what he is. Steve fact-checks the copy. They argue, mostly about adjectives. Full methodology lives on the about page →